Sibu Island Escape

A few weeks back Yen Kai gave me text message asking me to join him on a trip to the Sibu Islands for 3 days two nights.Well, at first i thought its gonna be one of those last minute planned trip which falls under the category of most likely cancelled . How ever , all went well after I managed to take a few days off in advance and last wed saw the bunch of us heading of to the kelong.

















Well, Jy backed out so its left with me the only outsider and the Rp vball team. How ever, they were nice and friendly people and all, so they were quite a nice company.

The three days two nights was spent island hopping , snorkelling and fishing. It was one of those simple trips that can only be described by the photos you've took , and I'm being lazy , so PEEPS! HEAR ME NOW~ enjoy the pictures XD

Things that turn me off..

Things i confirmed that will make me not like a girl when

1) You didn't call me to ask where i am and all and told me that you were there 1 hour earlier to wait for me.

2)You didn't slow me down and walk as fast as me and complain later

3) You didn't want to watch a show any more when we reach the cinema .

4) You took out a Stick to smoke infront of me and ask me if I wanted one. ( When you didn't told me that you smoke)

5) You answers a phone call in hokkien and starts speaking a very loud and rude manner

6) You fucking buy me lunch on the first date

7) You want me to meet your hokkien speaking friend when i have work like 30 mins later

8) You bring me around twit places and shops for twit clothings...

This will result in the following ..

1) My heart rate doesn't increase and i feel like dying when we hug..

2) I became digusted at the thought that our hearts are so closed to each other

3)I'll be seriously pissed with you

4) I will break up with you if you are my gf , and I'll not ever go out with you alone again.

5) I might even fucking hate you if you try anything funny at work.

ARGH, sucky day.

Yet another glamourous ending

Sheesh,once upon a time, Jc gets an off day from work and I'm spending all my day cooped up at home , doing my FYP work. Totally , exhilarating.

Right , i'm not blaming any one , don't get any wrong ideas now . Its just that , a moment of laziness or peace seems so scarce now adays. Especially when i have the phuas chasing after me , giving me shit loads of work to do. OK, as you have already guessed, this paragraph and the next is so gonna be paragraphs full of complaints. Thanks dvd for the encouragement, appreciate that man.

Lets see ,I've been an accountant, a sales man , a secretary, a carpenter, a coolie , a office boy and as well as the human resource manager at serangoon broad way. Well, doesn't that make my job looks interesting with so many aspects falling into one. Fuck it, the phua is exploiting the very goods of me at a bargain of 6 bucks per hour. 6 bucks per hour for god's sake , and i'm being sucked out of my life just earning 6 bucks per hour. Seriously, if he haven't gave me these two days off, I'm so gonna quit the job and head straight to the ministry of manpower to lodge a complaint. Even better, if i'm eligible, i'll apply for child abuse as well.


x_x


So , lately, I've been skeptical abuot the things i do , the person i'll be with bla bla bla. The other day i was telling ernest about how difficult its going to be , to be able to find for the one person that suits you. Thats like , 1 out 6 billion people. Fuck it, I don't know how many zeros there are in a billion , but wth , we all know that is alot. Makes me wonder now , how am i gonna be so sure that i'm going to find for the one lady that i'll be with.

Well, like i said , I'm being skeptical at such a young age that is. Jeeze,its just one of the kinds of moments when you take a breather and take some time to do some reflection . I have been telling myself that i'm still young and don't have to bother and all.After watching the show , how i met your mother, it seriously hit me. What if I , JC the almighty, DIE A VIRGIN!?

Ok,I see that many might go ahead and think that i'm actually going in the direction of sexual deprivation . NO i'm not. Its just that , if i'm going to fuck some one, I wanna make it a good fuck , and I want that person to be the one.Jeeze, and how am i gonna fuck the one when its like 1/6 billion a chance that I'ld find the one to fuck. ARGH.

Ok , maybe i'm being too narrow minded about the probability.Maybe i should widen my scope, do something like 2/6 billion = 1/3 billion or sth. Equate it out , minus gays and lesbians, minus married woman, minus old woman, minus young girls... So hmm, maybe it'ld create more possibilities.

What gives, if there are good people, there must be bad people to make the good people look good. If there are 50 strong men , we must have 50 weak men to make the 50 strong men look strong. If there is 1 sucker who dies a virgin, there must be fucker who dies , not a virgin. Period.


Ok, maybe this is not a complain post after all, more like its base on totally illogical hypothesis and explanations. What, you like to differ?

The dude's tired..

Damn , I'm damn damn damn shagged ar.. after days of work. Phua is unrelenting. DAMN it, Lemme complain... JEEze

5 days of full shifts work seems like eternity. People come people go , i sold for the company like theres no tomorrow, jeeze i don't know why i am working so hard actually, i've got no quota to reach or sort...Mr phua loves me, I know he does. He even treated me to teh bing after that ace day I had.

Arh, speaking of favouritism, i can't stand bosses being bias to people . Like , to me a boss is some one i look up upon , a leader and all, being biase, is totally not worthy of any respect.Mr Phua and Madam phua ( THe phua laus ) kept mistreating the foreign workers ar. They practice favouritism to Singapore workers,and would give them more consideration as compared to the foreigners.Every time xiao may would have her clients' being passed to me to handle by phua i felt bad. The reason was because xiao may couldn't speak proper english , thus, I took the client , but it got quite ridiculous when the client is actually from china as well and i end up, having xiao may next to me to translate my broken chinese to them.

How ever , I don't know why , the number of people taking photos with us seems to be decreasing , as the days past . Maybe its the rain, people find it a hassle visit the studio. So much so that Wang lin, the receptionist started to entertain people. She'll most likely go walking around disturbing people , and i get that plenty of time. There was once I was like being myself.. standing around ( well, the rest there think that i'm acting cool , in fact there was once , Rj , one of the photographer came up to me and said" wah , you stand here , i think the wind only blow towards ur direction" sth like that in chinese) then wang lin came over and said, JC, the girls ( miss phua and friend) are making fun of you. I was like, Zzz, I better sit down or sth...

Well, a new comer came over just today , his name is Jun Chien or sth . Very close to my name i know. Ok, he came over last week but i only got to talk to him more today. So we were talking about Phua's daughter, miss phua. Miss phua is very very short. Short and small. She is by record, the shortest girl i've ever seen( Esther, you can gloat about this) . Guess, what , she is 20 years old. SHE IS A YEAR OLDER THEN ME. Then i was wondering why she was treating me like a kid when she is so small and short. Just when i finished this sentence, she walked pass us .. I looked at her , and she stopped and look at me. She went," what? Go on~.." and walk away.

I felt this piece of concrete drop on me with the word LOSER carved on it...

Hello Jie Xi...

So i've been working for a couple of days at the studio already. Its funny, even though i'm working alone, its interesting. Maybe its the new environment but i'm starting to like my job. Well, first day of work was quite a comedy indeed.

My boss , Madam Phua( AKA Phua lau eh) introduced me to the crew. I was called Jc then.Then she assigned me to Xiao may.. or mei or wtf anything liddat... who fucking is a girl from china ... Xiao may is supposed to coach me. I'm telling you, i need to learn my chinese well because halve the time i don't understand what she is talking about and there went taking that i'm a joke and keep giggling. Suzie was a nice lady and she came to be my translator and eventually, my guide instead.Phua lau eh laughed at this ok, she laughed at my demise! She said , when I speak in chinese with xiao may , she laugh till her teeth drop. Something liddat.

Its really sickening. There was this instance xiao may was showing me where the different sizes of photos are stored. She went what si ar, shan ar , yi ar, er ar.. I was like , wtf is that. She kept ar ar ar ar ar... Suzie then told me it was the photo sizes which are in 4r 3r 2r 1r... Alamak.

Then Mr Phua( AkA Phua Lau pei) came. Phua lau pei mistaken me as one of the graduates collecting the graduation gowns they were distributiing and kept asking me to sit down and wait for my turn and all. Jeeze, Phua Lau Pei is partially deaf.. So yes, it took some patience and sign language to tell him that i'm the newbie.

Then Phua Lau Eh asked me to demonstrate to her how to dress the gown up for practice. She got Xiao May to be the model. ARGH! OF ALL PEOPLE AND ALL THE GUYS THERE!There was this part where you have to hook on something on the blouse. That area happen to be where the chest is, and in this case, it happened to be where xiao may's breast are. I was asking Phua lau eh.. " Phua lau eh... do i realy have to do this? " .. Phua lau eh went" OF COURSE YOU MUST DO, and you must do it accurately and quickly!" i was like in GG mode.. xiao may then went something like.." LAI BAH~ BU YAO PA or sth (translate to, bring it on! Don't be a pussy)"SIgh, hers was harD~ ...

Xiao may was sweet though, she kept smiling and smiling no matter the difficulties i had understanding her. .How ever ,one major turn off is. She couldn't get my name right. She gave me a new name infact. Jie Xi. Just this afternoon during lunch , Xiao may went JIE XIIIIII~~~~~~~~~ and threw a lump of rice and something and something on my plate. Before i could even finished my sentence she ran off in smoe china girl style.. Wtf, I'm now known as Jie Xi. Even the photographers there started calling me that. You should have seen Phua lau eh laugh. How ever, their english ain't that good as well. There was this instance Suzie was telling me what is what on a graduation gown. When it came to the Sashay.. she took it as a hood and pronounced it as.. " HOOT" Jeeze, lucky for my years of training in the comedy line, I'm able to hold my uproaring laughter in me.

So basically what i do is to handle clients and all, so with every deal secured , my name will be written on the sales contract by some one. In the early afternoon , it was ok they wrote my name as JC. Soon they began to emphasize more on the C instea of the J... so it became )C . Then , as the crowd got more ,they wrote it as )( ... then phua lau eh was having troubles identifying what the symbols mean , she changed it to >< . Then for convenience sake , they all changed it to X. When i saw that , i went hey.. thats not my name, phua lau eh went, it is now.. Wtf, do I look like some guy who have a bad hairdo and knives coming out of my knuckle!??!???!?!

Today was interesting though. Suddenly there was this woman who came in and went KNNN CHAO CHEEE B##N.... (we all know its not spelt that way)She slurred more vulgarities which i dunno , but i understand that she went FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.. and then KNN .. HU LI JING! ( Vixen ) I inferred that one of the staffs committed in a extra marital affair with her husband , that explains she was so pissed. Funny though , she called the police to come catch the woman ,who apparently is really not there... and the police took her into custody instead. Jeeze, she ate her words. ~

I was in a rush to use the toilet and i couldn't got away from my client, but that woman chased my client away. Thank god for answering my call to nature!I Pee-ed , relaxed , calmly and in an orderly fashion =)

Screwed up body clock

Jeeze, i think my body clock is so screwed up after the chalet. The chalet was actually meant for the Old 05 peeps, but ay, not alot turn up, apparently, only me and ernest stayed over together with the girl gang. Jeeze, It was fun though , especially when the night was spent gossipping about people. The high light was Yan ching's "fur".

There was yet another sighting incident again. While walking with the girls to see the sunrise during the wee hours , I felt a chill down my spine and i had goose bumps. My first reaction was to show off my 'very long' arm hair to ernest . When ernest turned over to look at them , he immediately turned back. Then we kept quiet and continue walking.When we were furthur away from the place ernest told me that he saw a white apparition beside me when i said my hair stood. GG.. and to think about it, its the 7th month too!

Sigh, i'll start to have a no life life after tml when i start working. Work eat sleep work eat sleep, take photo abit. SIgh ,well i think i had my fair share of fun. I think. Went to esplanade to do photo shooting with pat just now. Jeeze, yet another spend time together session.We played more pool then shoot photo actually.Aiya, we can't get any decent shots any way when the security guard decides to off the lights in esplanade. Then my friend had yet another accident again when the barrier at the car park fell on him. Tsk, apparently he didn't pay attention to the barrier and was ogling at some sleek sports car instead.

Jeeze, I need sleep , but I can't sleep. All these thoughts inside me, are bothering me but i'm not bothered actually. I think. Jeeze.

They crushed us like an ant

Sigh, the team is out of the tournament! Jeeze, who knew we'll be so serverely crushed by the foreigners.. argh~ They're big, they're strong , they're ang moh. ~~Oh well, they were slow any way..I'm quite satisfied looking at them run around.





Well, now its back to training mode again, but before that, i think I'ld have a chat with M.o to see whether zheng hua is playing next year.





Been sleeping alot after the law paper, i guess it was pay back for the lack of sleep during the examination period. So, I was with the guys at mos on friday night together with tw's friend. Well, it wasn't the most enjoyable nights I had but , I had some serious man to man session going on with ern after the session.Well, how come i'm not surprised that we share the same perceptions.. again~





Hmm , then i watched the movie 881 with my family, in celebration of my sis's birthday. Ay, its quite a nice show that had a strong singaporean essence in it. The hokkien/chinese/ broken english dialouges they had were interesting and well thought off. Indeed its something to be expected with the likes of roystan tan as the director of the film. He's too damn good .


Argh, i've still got a few more flicks i wanna catch on the big screen, but I'm too damn broke to go watch them. Dman it, good thing i'm working ~! Jeeze, life without money sucks.

Phone lost~ bad karma, good karma, got karma?

Goodness gracious me, i lost my phone, AGAIN!

FUCK!~

Scenario

I went to study at fajar with Ct as usual for our law paper tml, Ct decides to have dinner so i acc him to the hawker. When we were about to leave , Ct ran away first because there was a stray cat near by, Ct ain't afraid of the act, He was afraid of the germs on it. So he ran without his wallet and i was being nice so i took it for him.

Act

Then we proceed to the place where we we're supposed to mug at. Then while we settled down, i realised my phone was not with me. At first i thought it was Ct playing a prank with me because he started taunting me and all, but hur , he called my phone and told me that it was off. I called it myself to confirm.

Attempt

We then went back to the hawker in desperation to find my phone , but it was pointless from the start. I called star hub to suspend my line. Sigh. An diseased society indeed!

I couldn't help but thought of the time when i was in year 1 , when i found an O2 phone and returned it to its owner. Giving the circumstances then, i felt good when i perform an act of upholding integrity. Sheesh , so much so for maintaining a good karma.

Ok , on the other hand maybe i don't have a fair balance of good karma and bad karma after all. Ct suspected the indian uncles which are sitting beside us and drinking beer . I wanted to ask them , but ct decide that would be a bad choice, drunk angry indian uncles == dangerous people
to him. No offense, but after that i began noticing that where ever we walk , there are indianS! Well , take for example the place we mugged at. At first there was this , solitary indian pushing his cart around , should be a sweeper or so. I noticed him. Then there was this indian couple who walked past us , speaking in very heavily indian accented english. Then , a bunch of indian kids like , skipped past , dance past or sth(seriously, i dont understand why they can't walk normally) . Then there was this indian family, the mother going in this string of indian lingual which i supposed was used to scold her son which looked quite demoralised and was looking down. The next bunch of Indians which walked past was the high light, a bunch of grown up indian men, I supposed they're foreign or sth, walked past, hugging each other and holding hands. I know in their tradition its supposed to be friendly and all, but at that point of time, the disappointment level i had , i couldn't think traditional,I became modernized and thoughts of homo sexuality came into my mind as I looked on with disgust.

ARGH! I'm feel so sorry for my brother. sigh.

Mugging break

ARh, LAST PAPER FINALLY THIS FRIDAY! Law paper.. Jeeze,chatted up with Ming li, jeeze , so fking long since i've ever talk to her .. and she gave me tips on how to study for the law paper. Thats to study every thing on the night before and the morning of the paper. CAN you belive that she got an AD with that tatic and she actually said its easy? OK, smug bomb detected !

So the past few days had me pulling my hair bla bla shet with the papers. Sigh ,I definitely had plenty Jc's super morning wakeup call deluxe expresso... Jeeze, i know caffeine is bad, but woots, many cups of that is actually quite fatal, even my pee smelt like coffee after i drank one of those~

Arh , talk about peeing. Ever been to a uni sex toilet before?

The other day i was studying with CT at some lame shet macdonalds( k i know studying at mac are for kids and all but jeeze, theres no place else) and i happened to need to pee. Thats when i realise the toilet they have cater to both sexes. Well, i don't understand why they had to do that when the toilet is actually quite big , but , sadly, there is only one cubicle and that cubicle happened to have this blue color rubbish bin. ARh huh, sounds familiar girls? There i went , thinking its some ordinary rubbish bin and i threw my much used up tissue paper in there. The moment i flipped the lid open i saw it. Bread with JAM! BREAD WITH STRAWBERRY JAM!!!!!!! (Well, I don't wanna sound so crude )Yes , I took a second glance at the contents because i thought i saw something out of place. I told Ct and he went to look any way, shrug..

I bet some one will be laughing damn hard now.

I have no reason to be happy...

Its ok , i'm old enough to deal with my own problems.

Vagisil.. The face cleanser..

Mum brought me and marcus out for dinner this evening. Dinner was great , I always love eating dinner with my bro around, when ever mum asked me to do something I'll get him to do it instead. This is not an act of domination, I'm trying to teach my brother to be more street smart ! How is going to take care of his sweet little girl friend if he ain't as smart as me.

We did groceries after dinner and I thought that the facial wash need to be stock up , so i went to look for it. While i was contempltaing between tea three and the ginvera promotion , Mum came over with a bottle of this.



"How about trying this out.. Looks good~!"Mum said, obviously, she didnt read cause she wasn't wearing her glasses..

The text was small on the bottle so i moved closer and took the bottle from her to scrutinze on to the details on the tiny text...

Then the birds and bees started to fly , the flowers bloom and the skies became clear~~~

(P.s , For those who don't know what vagisil is, obviously you didn't pay close attention to the Mrt advertisments on the train... Tsk. Go Google Vagisil if thats the case)


Right , updates , So i spent the evening with the peeps at eski bar to celebrate calin's(I hope you enjoyed the flame thing, it looked so extravagant) 19th birthday at holland vee. Considering the fact that the heat waves from the damned weather was killing me, i think Eski bar is pretty a neat place to chill. I was surprised there was absinthe in their menu but the guys said its most likely an imitation... Hmm..

I left halve way to meet up with the guys for guys night.Jeeze, its something so over dued that no amount of fines would do justice. Every one had so much story to tell and update , we tonned the whole night ... I was having doubts on us finish the three bottles of vodka (considering the fact that i was KOed with just halve a bottle) but woots, we did good . I think. Kk , sorry PZ~ for the shet stuffs i said.

I think the best high light of the whole guy's night conversation was wiht ern saying so seriously.. "I want to be a pig"

ZOMFGBBQRP la kum hong~

He even went on to admire pigs for their ability to cum for 30 minutes..~

From now i'll always think of ernest when i eat my ham.

The night adventure...

The day was spent mugging at home for Fm , fuck , so many stuffs to download into my pea brain. Ay , but then my beloved patrick called me to say he wanted to spend some time together , so woots, we went for a spin....

Ah yes , the photo is misleading i know... We actually rode to town .

While Patrick was parking his bike, the gear lever came off , woots, GG...He can't shift gears. So we went , helter skelter to marina square to look for tools. the shop keeper at home fix was a nice guy, he opened up the shop again just for us to purchase the tools. How ever, the tools didn't fit the bolts on his bike, thus , GG , He had to manually changed the gear with his hands. So we stopped in the middle of the high way at a down hill inorder for him to change to gear 5 so that the bike can go faster. Its , hilarious.

Ay, but he got home in one piece, so ok la.. Jeeze, dude, we need to be together more often ... Sigh...

Happy birthday Xing Cha BOR~

K its like 230 am in the morning of national day, I'm so excited that i can't sleep. Yes who am i kidding. I'm currently talking to Gary and reading my past post. Gary, is a very very sad dude, his love life is simply, heart wrenching , thus me being the very kind me gave him a motivation session and some very very sound tips.

Then I was looking at my previous blog and Zzz, i can't help it but felt disgusted with all the grammatical errors and poor vocab. Ok i'm not saying I'm all English teacher now and all but hmm, i though i could at least salvage it ab it by re-editing one of the post. XD

Tuesday, December 21, 2004:.
::

To you,

By the time you are reading this,you might have known alot of things already, how ever there might be still some stuff that i've kept to myself..

Its been such a long time.. I've waited.. I've hid around ur shadows ,I hurt and got hurt for you,through all these years. Do you remember,the bottle i gave to you on your 13th birthday,together with the pooh card.. hur hur. Its the first present i had gave to any girl. Yeap, i'd alot of first time with you.That day when we broke up, i was waiting outside the gate for you. There was a slight drizzle, i though u might not have brought any umbrella along , silly me. I decided only to enter the school when xw told me to..Again,that is a dumb move . Maybe u think that its nothing, but at that time, i really wanted to send you home with that umbrella.

August 25 th, the day you broke up with me,I will always remember this date .I'ld always reminiscence on the memories we had . The first time i saw you cry, I felt a sudden urge to ask why and who made you cry and all. How ever , i never did , I guess i was too late to ask. Some one else did.

Then, you and i stopped talking for awhile yea?By then you were with xw. I got to know that through Irvin. However xw eventually told me about the relationship both of you are having . Hur Hur, for the first time I felt so much pain going through me at that time..I don't know , i know i would be jealous,but it was far from that.Its more then jealousy,but i kept every thing to myself.I didn't want any one to know that i still like you . I didn't wanted to put a Xw on the spot .

I began telling xw stuffs about you, what you like and stuffs like that. Well I did that for a simple reason actually, that is to see you happy with him.I wanted him to give you things I couldn't give,love that i can't fulfill,I didn't think much then.Then i saw you drenched in melancholy.I hated him , i knew its not your fault,but he denied all responsibilities and till now i still have doubts on forgiving him. Yea, I'm very small air(petty).

On my 14Th birthday,you and him gave me a car(well , its a miniature model, but a car is still car )and i still keep it with me. That was the first present you gave to me. i sorta really treasure that yellow car. It is also on my 14th birthday that i made a wish that i could be with you again. Hur hur, childish i would say ,the wish never came true.

Christmas that year,I received a Christmas card from you, I'm looking at it now. It looks simple, but I can't explain to you the joy I had when i received it. I was like jumping up and down. Lol. Then we started sending each other letters too which I'm also reading now.As i read them one by one , i felt my heart ache more,i don't know why.

Then we began talking again,its like a miracle . I could still remember how i rush back home from sch and stared at my phone waiting for you to call me.At that time i was more talkative, so we managed to talk alot. With all of that,I build up enough courage to ask you for your hand again.However when I saw your conversation with Stella,I was demoralised.I felt like an idiot.Thus ,I decided not to tell you anything and all.However ,Chong Hoe went to tell you every thing i guess,thus in the end.. it still went back to you rejecting me.

I remembered telling you this lame joke about my heart having the same fate as the goat's heart Annan(the bio teacher) was telling us to slice up.It was funny , how ever with every word i typed my heart felt like its being sliced, over and over again.

We stopped talking for awhile again after that. Then u were with laren u knew from the ice ring. Mm, I bet you didn't know that when u were all ice skating and all.I was rollerblading!I borrowed a pair of roller blades and i started to learn how to blade.I thought of this concept that roller blading is the same as ice skating. I am a slow learner thus i kept falling, but the each time i fell, the thought of me being able to join you all to ice skate made me not give up, until eventually... all of you stopped ice skating.

I guessed the both of you broke off eventually too, that is what i guessed though. I began to try to talk to you again, I've put in plenty of efforts to get into a conversation with you . One of the things i did was to harm a very good friend of mine,Jm. Remember that day i said i like Jm when she was at your house? I knew that you were all watching what i type,but i continued.I kinda want everyone to divert their attention to me and Jm rather then the both of us, In order for me to talk to you more comfortably. It was unfair for Jm, but we manged to talk again, didn't we?

Do you remember there was this time when we cycled together ? It lit a spark again and we began doing more tings together again. You told me you wanted to slim down, thus we began jogging .Every time you asked me to jog with you , i'ld jump into my pt kit no matter i am sick.. nt sick.. tired or not tired.. busy or not busy.. hurt or not hurt.. There was a time i jogged with you with a sprained ankle. I had a hard time hiding the pain how ever,i did all that as i wanted to go jog with you,I wanted to be with you.

MM, remember the promise that i won't eat sotong again ?? Tell you a secret,i broke the promise!On purpose !That day, jp, u and me, we went to have lunch at gr.I wanted to see if you still remember,thus i ordered sotong in my meal.Its something i haven't had for a long time, but i don't think u seemed to be bothered at all,thus i ate my sotong sadly.

Then I watched my first movie with you. Princess dairy 2. Hur hur, i've got to say that i didn't understand much of that show.In fact,I thought it was pretty lame actually.How ever , i didn't mind that as I get to watch a movie with you. km knows about me holding a torch for you,so i guess he purposely seated us together. I know you were pissed , but Km was persistent, sorry.

Then, it was finally prom night. You looked the best on that day from the other times i saw you during this 1241 days(1241x24=29784 hours,29784X60=1787040minutes,1787040x60=107222400 seconds). I kept stealing glances at you from my table till ct asked me why am I staring at him. There was a dedication to you then saying that he love you so much right? or something like that.. I was heart broken when i heard that,cause it was not dedicated by me.

At the chalet,What else can i say, so much happened. I did had the chance to express my feelings to you at that time actually, but ,i didn't.I was afraid that things wouldn't be the same after i told you how i feel. I'm filled with regret now.Jm hated me for that.Below is what i wanted to say during the chalet.

As you open the brown package,you'll find the letters and cards you've sent to me . I treated them as treasures before and now I am returning all of them back to you.


Now,i guessed, that is it.I wasted my chance, I hated myself for it. Words can't describe my feelings now, its such a joke, its the same person who broke the news to me.Great, You and him must be happy now, all those sweet talks and stuffs.

I shall not lie to myself why you wouldn't reply to my msges .

I should not lie to myself why you would suddenly become moody

I should not lie to myself why you won't talk with me on the phone the you and him did

I should not lie to myself that i can hide this all forever...

I should not feel motivated again to work cause I said that I am going to take care of you ...

I shall not lie that I could get closer to you by jogging with you ..

I shall not lie that by helping you , You would appreciate it..

I shall forget about all the tings that happened in the chalet for it seemed significant for you ...

I shall forget the times i walked with you to school..

I shall think that I deserved to be scolded by my boss and customers cause i rushed through work to make time for u ..

I shall not wait for you in the middle of the night and try to sneak out of the house just to go fetch u from work

I shall not be worried that u would be stalked..

I shall not think that you remember all the things we did together..

I shall think that all these are my own doings.. and I am to be blame for all that had happened during all this time that i did every ting for you ......

For the second time and the last time Calin..I cried for you(0038 hours GMT Singapore ). Sorry for making you go through all this.I don't want you to apologise nor show appreciation.The best present you gave to me this Christmas was the chance to sent you home, to your door steps,i don't expect anything more, all i want to say is , thank you for every thing.

J.c
::
.:jooncheen Iced 12/21/2004 11:59:00 PM:.

ARGH!!!! I'm like editing and laughing my ass off in the middle of the night ar. Patrick complained that he can't be efficient in his work now. ARGH!!!Its so much better now as compared to the previous one la. Jeeze.... This is seriously good entertainment and good way to kill time and KILL EMONESS~!!!!! WKKAKAKAKA. Now , i'll start laughing at my sister and bro even more!Blardy Emo secondary school days ~

Chill kid .. Smile=)

Arh jeeze , i think i'm getting addicted to that quote esther gave me. Chill kid. Smile =) Its like every time i got pissed over sth that quote came into my mind. Thanks kid~ and.. Hmm, we shouldn't think too much eh.. haha.

So i went for a job interview at serrangoon broad way studio today, woots and woots , training starts next Friday. So cool ar, to be able to work at a photography studio. Thank god maybelline informed me ~~~~

I went to meet the guys for carl's just now. Jeeze, to think i just had some disagreements with them the night before and we're there laughing our ass of at fat asses again. They're the best la. We had quite some talk about the happenings and all, hmm I like what Ernest said to me..

"
so get settled down, casinova is fun on and off, but sometimes u just need a hug from a gal u know that will be there for u and willing to give u a hug as well"

That was exactly what he said , see i didn't even bother correcting his English. I love the way he reminded me that I still need to be loved . Trust me ern, I tried.

Was talking to Tw about how we should live our lives now and all.. Jeeze, fate seems like a bluff and all, something they use to bluff girls or sth, I don't use it though. I'm afraid i'll make god angry~ XD

So i learnt something new today, CROSS STITCHING!

Before i even started i forgot about the fact that i'm actually needle phobic..and that cross stitching involves needles. Jeeze, but ay, I did 50++ stitches though so , i'm numb now, I can take jabs now.

Then to the kind person who taught me how to count those minute holes and all , which almost made me blind, THANK YOU! I hope you like the card, you know you will.

Updates

Kk, i shall let my week be all black . K, ernest had to hear my rants.. thanks

So we played against Ka csc just now , ay , we lost, 3 sets straight again .. but zzz, i think I did my best. Ernest's brotehr was there again , as usual , attracting lots of attention. Ay, the world class referee shut me up.. AGAIN~...

Tsk.. 8-8-2007. Woots, 2 person's birthday . Happy birthday calin~ happy birthday Jun Feng~ I'm lazy so you both can read my wishes and use it for ur own..

I wish you a merry birthday ,I wish you a merry birthday ,I wish you a merry birthday ,I wish you a merry birthday ..and a happy new year~...Best wishes and good luck in every thing you and you dO~~~~~~~~~

Jc please Focus and mind what you say...

I need to ...
Be cool and don't be rash..
Keep my focus in all situations..
Take things step by step..
Accept facts...
Period.

Nasty mode...

Think i'm became a full fledged jerk today.

I'm out to piss people off. Tsk, trust me , I seriously got irritated over the slightest thing today. Even when I lost the triple knock out level on ern's psp. Zzz, some kinda vein in my brain definitely grew bigger today, supplying more blood to the hate cels..

I'm sorry esther .. zzz, i felt bad to say all those stuffs about the da jie gang. ARgh... next time.. I'll be good... sorry....

Argh, stupid day.

I can't love the person i hate....

You show me how to hate him.. you hated him...
I hate him for what he did to you...
I hate him for what he did to me...
I hate him for taking away what i have...
You showed hatred for him in front of me...
I played his role when he is gone...
I couldn't be a better person to them because i had to play his role..
I don't belong to any body now because of him..

Nobody knows my story..
Nobody understood how i felt..
I could've been happier..
I could've not hate so much...
Only hell understands my resentment....

Now.....

You want to put me in his foot steps..
You want me to show concern for him...
You want me to love him...

I'm telling you now..

I can't...

I can't love the person i hate..

I'm just a guy, I can't be extra ordinary..

I'm sorry.

Saturday morning full of shit...

Jeeze.. its close to mid noon now and i'm having a bad hang over. It gets worse every time i have one, i wonder why... I'm still not exactly sober now ... so pardon the weird sentences...

Drank plenty yesterday, the four of us actually finished halve a bottle of absolute vodka. Its like drinking some donkey's pee at first , but oh well, its booze, what gives. I can't remember exactly what happened and i think i was really drunk and high and i started talking nonsensical stuffs to the girls. I think i'm not able to hold alcohol that well any more, damn ,ernest protect me next time we club or sth or i'll get rape..

Ok , we're playing that silly indian poker game again which i don't know why , i had lousy luck to start with so i kept losing and losing and gotto down plenty much of donkey's pee. It got pretty high and we started asking each other questions. I can't remember the questions already. I think by then , the J cockster in me had already taken over and i started being damn ridiculous and shet. I think i even asked some one to be my GF on the spot. I think.. was I asking Ct or Yh ar...

I dunno what time i got home and i think they sent me home which was really kind of them to do that thank you very much ...... else i'll be sleeping in the streets hur.. I've been sleeping in a sleeping bag for the past few days.. (my bed spoilt) and this time round i didnt even bother pulling out my sleeping bed , i just slap my face on the floor and blacked out.


and..

Thats how i woke up this morning on the floor , back ache, face ache, head ache ... with a bad hang over. Mum then came back with a bottle of ice wine ... she asked me whether i wanted some.... damn..

I can't help but question your actions

So i've sent irene off to vancouver.. this time ,i made it a point to be there to see her off. Lots of hugs , cookies and photographs.. Jeeze.. We'll miss you SBF.

I played the men's open tournament yesterday, we played against a team which is known to be stronger then us. Yes , we lost. Losing is something common when you play vball, but tsk, i really question that man's approach to losing a tournament. Its demoralising and disturbing. I didn't like it.

I think maybe I'm being too particular. Hmm.

The more i thought about yesterday's match , the more pissed i beacme... Damn it.

Ah yes, Let me give credit to ... the small and handy dandy assistant who helped me through out the photo shooting session at the air port. Thanks~!

Irene's leaving again

Arh jeeze, the sbf is leaving town to go back to Vancouver again. Shet thing, i just watched the Simpson's movie with her and the kid just now at lot 1. They were kind enough to follow me all the way to lot 1 , and to watch the same show again together with me. The Sesf had to make fun of my oriental hotel waiter suit like long sleeve shirt.

We chilled at Ya kun kaya toast for quite a while. The seats were square and were too small to fit my entire butt. I was commenting that if i were to take of my pants and look at the mirror after the chilling session, i'll have this red square tattooed on my ass. Then irene had to make my appetite go bad by offering her EGGS to me. After which , she offered me her BREAD as well. So much so for a menstrual cycle. Sheesh

We've chat about every thing, from the complains , to what happened before, to the daily happings.. Its been along time .. So many things changed la, after that chill session , which prolly will be the last with her for quite a long time, i realised i've left behind so much things..

I don't know why the thought of irene leaving gets me so emo. Jeeze, I guess i haven't got the chance to realise it all until our projects are all submitted today . I've been too busy and stuck up during project times to look out for whats around me. I think i'm not taking these changes maturely enough , like someone who still cry for something he lost. Like a loser. Sigh , I'll leave it as that and go emo mode now.

Gd bye Sp Cyclists

Finally,after 3 gruelling years .. I've stepped down as president for Sp cylists club.

Hmm, since like just yesterday i supposed, that Wen jie passed the baton to me. It all started with me and soon ning. The both of us were young and green fresh men then, didn't know what to do, and we kinda , re built the club from scratch. We struggled with our membership intake then as the fresh men's attendance saw only a few and the only more enthusiastic was me and soon ning. Soon, ivan came along.

Ivan was a year 2 then , thus , he was kinda senior and all but he joined us because he grew tired of the canoeist club.Ivan was a passionate guy full of ideas . He was one of the pillars of support Sp cyclists had then. Ideally known as the uncle teo, he was the one who re structured our annual round island cycling expedition to make it more easier participants. He came out with the mini round island cycling expeditions and seriously, he did a very fine job teaching us how to maintain the bikes and maintaining them for us. He's the man.

Then came my Zhi hong and wei long. The both of them wanted to join the club , and yes, they had a hard time getting to us, me and soon ning. Its so hard to open the club 24/5 with only the two of us holding the keys. Zhi hong and wei long soon became very enthusiastic with the club activities, both of them became part of the team that I was in to rebuild our club. Zhi hong a.k.a the quartermaster and wei long, publications.

At about the same time , Zhi jian and ernest joined the gang. I supposed i can call them my handy man and the trio of us form the brain of SP cyclists. Events, ideas,meetings all , Fo events , we've been through all the thick thin. Those late evenings staying back in school to discuss the next events , the sacrifice we made, to see the club running fine now, i guess it worth it.

I would like to give credit to Alicia Zee too. She's my student officer back then, and she is damn hot. Even though she looks old and all, woots, do anything stupid and feel her wrath. Alicia Zee acted like a guide for us , since our seniors couldn't have time to teach us on the rules and all,Alicia was our only source of information , if you've watched matrix.. she is like the oracle.

Last but not least, i'ld thank the president mentor... Yi mian, the cocker, the fucker , the team builder. He is one of our seniors actually, exiled by the rest before , stripped from President to nothing less.. he came back to aid us in our plight. He is like the god father ~

2006 saw the fruit of our hard work, the freshmen. We we're gifted with plenty of year 1 signing up for the club. Our Club fund saw a significant boost . Adding on to that , we collaborated with SPyfc for the p.ubin ride which helped us foster inter club relationship with their members and as well as the SPA. The end of 2006 saw Sp cyclists running vibrantly as a club ...

Now , after hearing promises lay down by the new president and committee members, i'ld realise that hmm, thats the end of the road for us, me. Running the club for me was like walking bare footed in a jungle trail, pain staking , with a strong instinct for survival. Friends asked me why continue, i think , I can't find words to explain this feeling , but hmm, after looking at the road i took way back and the current position i'm at now, I think its worth it.

blogger

BLOGGER IS GIVING ME PROBLEMS AGAIN!!!!

A time of crisis

Laughter..

Jostling..

Boys aimlessly receiving volleyball .. playing with no code of conduct.

Eating , shouting , running in a mad bunch ...

Discipline wasn't an issue on any of their minds...

Winning isn't what they aim for...

They just want to spike hard and impress the chicks...

Even so , they can't really spike that well..

They talk back to him..

They despised and hated his coaching...

Then he told me....

" Jc , i'm leaving zheng hua volleyball , I'll not coach them any more... I give up.."

Spiking harder..

Woots , had plenty of crabs yesterday at mellben's. Its at toa payoh this time round and we had helluva time searching for the restaurant.Ok, the rest of the guys had a hard time searching for the restaurant but i was there early coz i took the chartered bus. I regretted.I was cooped with a bunch of 'babes' whom i think won the line dancing competition or sth for the cc , thats why they are invited to the invitational dinner as well , and yes I'm compelled by their overwhelming friendliness on the bus ride. So much so that i only had one thought on my mind , I wanna go home~I don't have to elaborate on how "turn on" i was by them rite?

Well if that ain't bad enough , i reached the restaurant before any of the guys did and i sat next to Dr Teo. Alot might think its an honor to sit beside an Mp , but for me , i'ld rather not. Like , what if he found out that i'm a good for nothing parasite living of the goods of mother earth posing a threat to his little Village in the north western side of Singapore. Jeeze, lucky he only ask if i'm thirsty and need a drink.

Well, enough talk about the happenings for me, lemme describe the restaurant itself. It look just like some ordinary zi char restaurant on the exterior, just alittle more beef up , but woots... the dishes served are definitely above your ordinary zi char stall standards.

For those who didn't know , Mellben seafood is known best for their crab dishes. Chilli crab, crab bee hoon , butter crab , what kinda crap they also got. Dr Teo was kind enough to treat us to 3 of the many crab dishes variety there. According to the cook, the dishes ordered are some of their trade marks.Ay, if only i've got my camera with me , i'ld take pictures but , I didn't thought of it , well, I'll give credit to the people who took the pics of which i'm about to display or have already displayed . First off , the favourite crab dish out of the 3 we ordered, voila, the butter crab.

I cant explain the sensational tongue tingling taste i had when i tasted the sauce. Ok, it looked like the crab is coated with semen from here i know , but what gives . I'm not gay and all but if cum really taste this good , damn , guys out there, the next time u start wanking off again to sth , please save the cum up and use it to fry your crab.

Next would be the e.t.m.h.o (every time must have one) dish , which is, the crab bee hoon.

Ok , so they used one whole crab for this bowl of bee hoon and it looks kinda ordinary.How ever , what you see is not necessary what you get. The soup used for this dish is made using crab stock~ In the crab stock , you've got crab eggs~ You put crab egg and you mix with this , you get a orgasmic tasting soup.Yes, its so nice that every table i see with this pot of crab bee hoon , had some one tilting the clay pot up side down to empty the contents thoroughly.

The last dish would be the chilli crab, its nothing worth mentioning i think because i think it taste just like the standard chilli crab you'ld find anywhere else in singapore . Hur, in any case , thats about the wrap for this mellben seafood introduction. I'll not talk about the price tag for the dishes eh , its a turn off trust me. Stay in your oblivion of self satisfaction by imagining how the crab meat will just melt in your mouth and blend in harmony with the sauces to create the heavenly taste. DAmn , i'm hungry.

Let them be .. let them be...

Woots 3 in the morning ! GG i need to sleep soon. Lemme just blog alil something here and there to keep things going.

Finally , we got r.p.o.t.b.b.q.g.(Ruffled Pawned On the B B Q Grill) by our gems tutorer as we did some very crappy job with our presentation. I did my part of the slides in like an hour , shi yang came out with an essay, ernest's points clashes with shi yangs which he only spent like 30 mins doing and the other two guys were stammering. Miss lin was kind enough to give us next week to present on our slides again. We kinda explained to her our plight after wards and yes, thank god she is humane enough to understand the cause of our demise.

So that gives 3 presentations to be presented next week , 1 annual general meeting to attend , 4 reports to submit and yes ,vball open's tournament starts next week. I'm gonna get f.p.u.s.d.l.r.c(Fucking Pawned Up Side Down Left Right Center) at the matches. Wth , we're playing against the germans , french and the yankees i think.I think i'ma go get my finger binds and all, i don't want to dislocate anything~

The other day chilled with the Sesf , the SBf and the SBF at town till dawn. We need more time together before irene goes back... nuuuuuuuuuuu~~~and yes , i'm lagging.

Self Mutilation

What the fuck is wrong with you now JC. Its 1 in the morning u're lessons start at 8 tml and you are still here sitting on your god damn ass typing this retarded shet?This post is going to be pointless you know.

You're feeling down and all over what the fuck again? Lousy play? You're in pain? What the fuck is wrong with your knees ? Why you want to play vball so much ? Got use? Why play until so lousy?Fuck ~

You're feeling down and all over what the fuck again? The things that happened ? What fucking things? You made people hate? YOu hate who? Why you care so much about what other people feel? Why so kind? Fuck~

You're feeling down and all over what the fuck again?What projects? What work? Fuck care ~ What due times? What responsibilities? What stress? What is this kind of stress... fucking small orite... don't complain. Fuck~

You're feeling down and all over what the fuck again?Why you're reading things you shouldn't read? Why you get so sad over the things she said? What is she to you?You like her? No , then why care so much? What do you want? Fuck~

Life's a dick.

I'ld like to give the liability away for free

How many times you find yourself stuck in this situation where by your perception doesn't coincides with another? What did you did when that happen? Adopt the new point of view? Strongly agreed that you're the correct one? Or maybe take a subtle action by considering the fact that perceptions are based on any ones character?

Well the point is , God , if he's there, didn't made us perfect to start with. He starts by giving us these little liabilities here and there for us to understand ourselves even better.

We all have negative attributes in ourselves no matter what, which we should identify and rectify it . The process of correcting our selves helps us understand our self even more. Through that , we can grow. Growth should be an end less cycle within ourselves and shouldn't be hindered or stopped.

By now i think ,if you're reading this you should know that this post is referring to you. I doubt you'll be reading though but the rest who have been listening to my rants would most likely know who that person is . I'm not here to pin point though, what I've said is for every one to read. I hope you'd find this post as an useful advice for what ever you do .

P.s. I'm not at all impressed by the things you did , or will be doing.

Gramps visit

Sunday morning!

Sunday mornings are good for lazy people, especially when you suddenly lost touch of your back bone and you start to like , lay low, taking shape of what ever thing you lie on.

Gramps is over to "baby sit" us again as Mum escapes to malaysia yet again during teh week ends. Maybe my siblings would dread my ah ma coming over but i actually like it. My room is much cleaner and i what, I get good food.

Ay, I'm lazy to take a picture of the ba kut teh i'm drinking now ...bla bla bla, so i'm off to drink my soup adn continue with dreaded work. Ciaoz

He is troubled.

Once upon a time , muthu was very very troubled.....

Damn , This inconsistent blogging sucks. OK , i shall blame school work for this again!Damn , the projects dead lines are all piling on top of each other. Stress and tension is indeed building up, quarrels , disputes, conflicts , communication break down.. all the shet all erupting.Woots, I think i'm good though , since i've could vent all my hate to just one person.

OK, other then the over due cheque i've yet to claim , i'm officially broke. No notes , no ATM card , no coins .. BROKE. As in like the past tense of break ! What the hell was the poor man wishing for again.. damn it

Argh.. I've been taking pictures the whole of today actually . Geeze, The lens Evan borrowed was awesome, picture quality and all. Nice~ Maybe i'll make this post a post to like , "show off " alil. OK, here goes..

This kid here obviously Caught my attention. Halve the time i was trying to take a decent picture of the swans in the back ground he kept jumping in front of me. Adorable yet irritable. I love kids like this, especially when i push one of them into the pond and they just drown and die in front of me. PS, I didn't did that though, his dad is one hell of a black buffalo.

There were plenty of fishes there.Small fish , gold fish , BIG fish. Damn if only they allowed me to fish there. Most of the fishes doesn't stand out due to their colors and the reflections from the water surface , but this bunch of fellows did an impressive job on flaunting their Little, yet majestic colours.

The pond is a great place to be at, plenty of life , from the annoying kids to the various creatures there. There was sort of a commotion going on at the creeks , so i went over and woots, there it was, that little fellow taht caught my heart at first sight. The way it wobbles , the way it cleans its wings clumsily , the way it swims .. damn , I knwot eh following word would sound over rated but its ... seriously.. CUTE.
The fellow is pretty cooperative too. It just waddle around me and starts giving me different poses as i start working my camera on it. Like , who needs Tyra banks as a model when you got Ducky quack modelling for you.~ Then Ducky quack's girl friend , Quaky duck came along to meet him for a little date out in the pond.They're so sweet that the fishes are swimming . -_-

Other then the creatures there are also plenty of fauna at the park. Ok , the flowers don't move and they are just pretty by them selve, so i shan't go ahead and elaborate on the pictures. Self judgement is require in this segment , please proceed with brains~

Yes , this is a water fall.. which is like 1 feet high leading to a tributary stream AKA , long kang. Any what , you guys can click on the pictures if you want a larger view of them or , if you want a finer picture , just come to me~ Critics and comments are welcome eh! I'll leave it here. BYE!

Unintention sarcasm

I seriiously am getting bored of the orange skin lay out now.. Geeze, any color themes to suggest any one?

So , i've been busy the whole last week. Irene's back , woots , and i met up with her the day before. Its been so long since i've see her but when we talked plenty at tcc it felt like she just left us for a few days. Yep, every thing is the same, and its good~

Been visiting Nyp alot lately. Training for the outcoming matches , in fact, i've got a match later on. Sigh, i better perform my best for this one, quite crucial.

Hmm, school has been the same. Well, high lights will be from the arguements i had , in fact , for the past week, there are plenty of disagreements. I'm too tired to elaborate on anything woots, I'ld enjoy writing a sarcastic post soon though.

I'll blog soon again, cheerS!