Kid and old man

Some times when i go out with my friends..they'll describe about the many sides of my characters ... many a time i disagree with their descriptions , because I KNOW MYSELF THE BEST! Pff, well , the reliability of that statement is questionable , so pff, i decide to start doing self assessments of myself , to show case , or admit .... the person i think i am.

I think i can be damn childish and immature at times . Just like a kid. I'ld whine and stuffs when i'm with the guys when i can't get the stuffs i want. I'ld be angry over the most meagre things like having to eat vegetables for the whole day. i'ld watch pokemon on saturdays and teenage mutant ninja turtles on sundays.I'ld show off when ever i can , like riding just alittle faster then the guy in front and smirking at him.

I can be quite an old man sometimes. I'ld complain about every thing . Even though there is nothing wrong with it , i'ld go all out to find faults which were never there. I'ld grumble just to get attention and irritate. Then i'll nag at stuffs to get them done.. oh yea , i've got back aches , knee aches and cry pain when it rains. Tsk , ah pek.

Even now i'm complaining about my knee, pff.. Vball match this thurs , think i'm not going to be able to play in main 6 , too lousy. Sigh.

Akward silence

The saturday was spent at home , sleeping and resting mostly , had a bad head ache and i went for the white one in the morning , that explains why i slept through. The thing about me and bad head aches is that they occur after a huge relieve , its like high tide of brain juices draining out as i began to relax, causing turbulence , thus head ache. Thats , comical science.

Its weird how i felt empty when ever saturdays are spent alone . Well, the fact that i'm alone contributes most of it , but i'm alone mostly , but its saturdays that hit me the most.When you work so hard or studied so hard through out the week and finally you have the week end to chill , you find that you're alone. I long for companionship , or rather, just people(or person) to chill out with.

Then i thought , maybe i need to find something to do ,usually i'll just go online. Now , going online meant i will be on msn and that didn't help much but cave me out even more. Messages began popping up , but those aren't stuffs i wanna hear . People i don't wanna talk to . Conversations i don't wanna start . It sucks.

Then again , i'll be scrolling up and down my contact list and i see people online , which i so wanna talk to . Just typing something to them. How ever , its hard , especially when you don't know what to type. Makes you feel that you don't understand them at all and perhaps its best you'ld leave them alone. That feeling is unbearable.

With so much contradictions running through , which can't be help , its hard not to feel emo and all.I began having childish and naive thoughts of stuffs , thats when i can get those imaginery scenarios i came out with before. Then i can't have the motivation to do anything . To a point that i'm just scrolling up and down my contact list , yes , going crazy.

Jeeze , i feel left out .



Sigh.

Work ends and school starts..

Today mark the last day of my intership period with Alliance spec. I don't know why i feel sad to leave the staffs . Especially the ones which were quite close with me and all. I always dreaded work and all , but when i stepped into the office one last time to see the np interns , i felt that i wanted to linger around longer. I didn't really had a chance to bid good bye properly, to the people i should . Sigh , this feeling gets me emo, i think i'm going to stop blogging now and start crying.. slash my wrist or something..

~




They'll never taste the same...

April 7.. something still feels amiss...

I did mention i was tired of being the narrator of my life ... perhaps I'll rant about a few characters that came across me during the pass weeks. Some of them made me think, some of them sucked(mostly).. some of them been on my mind ... like a shadow..

Just yesterday i almost went into a heated argument with my boss. What I've experience was pure tyranny.Maybe I've yet seen or experience even worst pressure from bosses but , i deemed it as over demanding yesterday.To cut short , he gave us a pile of work to do after lunch yesterday.He asked if we could finish the work by today. The rest of the interns, i don't know why they didn't said anything but i voiced out. I said we can't complete the work by today. He looked at me and asked what would it take to complete it. I looked else where , obviously avoiding eye contact with him. Some ass said OT. The forbidden word. The boss then said that we could do OT and finish the work by today. He then asked if I've got a problem with that. I felt resentment and i said of course i had a problem , but it wouldn't be much of a problem to hinder with my work performances.

I finished my work on the spot though. When i submitted the work, my boss was surprised and said..." i thought you said you couldn't finish it on time? " I replied' yea , but i received some enlightenment when u said OT .." then he went " so you lied to me la.. when u said u couldn't finish.." I looked at the rest of the interns still doing their work... " well, that was before the enlightenment.." i ended the conversation after i finish sending the file over . The stay wasn't pleasant

I could have respected the boss ... but what he did sorta make me lose respect for him. He isn't the kinda guy who i'ld respect. I had mixed emotions as i left the building with the fact that i managed to finish faster then the interns there..it gave birth to so much more hatred ... I don't know whats wrong , but i feel that i would start avoiding them and all.

Guys out there , tell me now , what would you do if there is some one wooing the girl u're wooing and that some one gets the girl. Would u practice the code of honour of fair play ? Or would you start storing enmity for that guy or girl too? Would you be happy for that girl and accept the fact that he has got something that the girl likes and you don't? You.... i kinda expected for that to happened but when i saw it , i was quite speechless. Why would you want to be that waY?We're all grown ups , we know how to think .. beating him up won't be a resolution rite? What gives from resorting to violence? Pff, theres something called being immature , and well, i've got to say that i'm quite disappointed with you.

Sigh... what have we become? The insomnia bug hit me hard for the past week and i'm always waking up with bad head aches and stuffs. I just can't sleep. I wake up in the middle of the night , shocked from some oblivious fear... night mares? I reckon... i don't remember any of the dreams i had except for one which had this chocolate recipe in it. Weird eh .. to dream about chocolates.-_-pff... 6pills left one~

I did had enjoyable times and all during the week.Fishing with patrick ,and speaking of which , i feel so happy for you eh patrick~Ur HAPPINESS! Then i had xboxing sessions with the guys ... Fifa is leets . Too nice . Then Pz was so kind to give me my birthday present yesterday . A radio light clock thing... its cool. I like its tail and woots , i finally have a decent clock in the room.



The tail is too cool...

The world was never fair to start with...

Last Thursday night i was going to turn in when i heard this sharp screech followed by a loud bang. I rushed out of the house and this is what i saw.



Apparently , the driver lost control of the car due to its sheer power and he crashed onto that tree as seen. The ambulance and fire trucks arrived soon and i saw them try to free the driver out of his seat. I watch helplessly as they dragged the driver out of mangled car window and the paramedics performing CPR for him.I thought that the driver might be in some serious danger and i hope he'ld be OK and all. How ever , he took his last breath on the way to the hospital...

That man , was in his late 20s only. He was going home after sending his girl friend home when he got into this freak accident. He was a young entrepreneur and all. He does regular charity work and is known to be a very caring person. He could have been a great business man , he could have experience the many good things life could offer , he could have gotten married with his girl friend and have kids and all living in his small apartment. Death got him too soon. He never got the chance to do all those things he could have done .

As I saw the cleaner pick up the pieces of debris from the crash , I thought about how his loved ones would be picking up the pieces . They must be thinking how unfair and unjust life can be... Why would some one so good and nice be killed just like that. Tsk , we are so vulnerable. Condolence to who ever maybe be concerned about him and ay, i hope he find peace....