Nostalgic memories sting my eye as i stand alone in the vast present...

Its a rainy morning and its kinda cold ...
Here i am, in itos room.. It seems like madam quek is doing some evaluation tingy for her module .. ay ay, she can make so much effort , but she'd been black list as one of those "not very good" lecturers liao bah... ay ay, who tell her to be biased towards boys. hur hur

Time passed quite quickly yea.. so fast and the semester exams are closing in.. Hmm, worried for itos uwos and accounts sialz.. hur hur..

Incredible tales yesterday was quite scary i tink.. hur hur , possession . ay ay, I think i'm possesed by the food bug.. kept feeling hungry~

Sian sehz.. still got two more projects left now.. Itos and wcd..by next week , everyting will be over and its rush hour for the exams..

Ay ay..August days are coming to an end for me already... Yay~...

ALrite tml Fom presentation~! gonna kick some ass~

Ay , the hour of truth lingers nearer now as the time for us to present creeps closer, hur hur ~

So here i am.. juz finished studying for acc.. re editing the fom presentation and preparing to sleep. I still havent got more money yet so ay ay, tings are pretty much tied up now.. Thks for the peeps who are forgiving eh... appreciated that...

Think other then working i gotto train up more.. It tooked me that long to actually reach bukit timah today from my house.. 30 mins... its really disgusting.. ay ay... but nvm.. will train more ....

ay ay... once upon a time.. . . . .

Himana...anata wa kire nei.. bokuwa, aishiteru~

I walked in these constant emptiness every where i go, the present seems so nostalgic but i'm living in it still .. what has gotten into me that made me so blind and so diregardful of wat i've done . Faith dwindles as enimity engulfs my pride and soul breaking it up... all together..


Kor asked" eh marc, u want to ride?"

didi replied" Yea.."

Kor asked" wanna ride like me ? As fast as me ? "

didi replied" ok , but i nid a bike "

kor asked" do u want to race?"

Didi replied " I not sure..."

KOr asked" Why do u tink u can ride like me and what makes u want to ride like me?"

didi said" my friend and i went cycling , i rode faster den my friend, i dare to go down the slope and my friends dare not , so i think i can ride like u "

Kor smiled thinking" ay ay , thats my bro... "

And so, thats how i decided to get even more money to get a bike for my bro .. hur hur..

Outta breath

Alrite so.. time passes faster now as projects due dates are nearing and there is juz so many commitment u nid to do.. its all making me outta breath oredie. firstly.. i tink i really have to apologize to a few person for me not able to pay much attention them.. Sl and Jr.. sorry . i'm not able to make it to ur birthday party and all.. ay ay, i'm seriously broke now and i'm running outta time also.. sorry, doesnt meant that i hate u guys or wat by not going to ur birthday party but i really nid to get the projects done .. sorry about it... And jp, ay ay beloved jp, sorry ar, every time online chatted halve way and i dissappeared and sorry for not replying to ur mails also.. i'll try to get my ass down on the computer seat and reply them soon orite?? Sorry and thks for compromising..

Think i seriously nid to work real soon.. i'm really darn broke now.. ~~

Ay ay i tink i'm kinda tired on what i have in hand now also.. ay ay, why the hell did i bother so much also.. i juz want to protect what i have now and prevent from losing them.. oh well, its juz another day with the lectures and tutorial~ ....

Tanned

Woke up damned early today.. saw the moon ...



Ay ay.. went to the beach today...

was there in the morning for spike 2005 beach volley competition.. hur hur, ambitious? haha was with jun yuan , boon seng chun hung and adriene in the team of 4 with 1 sub. Apparently the ankle doesnt hurt any more.. ay ay , i'm not wolverine for nth eh.. we lost .. ay ay.. they play one set 21 points.. single knock out game.. lame rite.. ay ay.. but aiya.. its a one day event cannot blame.. hmm figured out that beach volley got all the different rules from court volley.. woots.. new tings to learn..

The peeps from the class joined me later.. hur hur.. our class outing.. kinda little ppl la. ay ay but still fun.. haha esp the water ballet part.. damn lame..Its been a long time since i had sun tan at siloso also.. ay .. long time no go ler..

After that went to look for my sis's present.. ay ay. decided to get a coin bank for her.. ay.. the wallet will have to wait bahz.. but the coin bank is quite cool i tink.. a pug coin bank.. ay ay.. still got a little scarf.. haha

An young haseyo, JC imnida

ttoh kae ji nae yo?

Na jc.. sarang you

ishiro~!

ay ay.. lame stuffs , had hazel teaching me some korean.. ay ay.. so complicated...

Ay ay.. tink today type till here bahz.. aaron looks cool

When are we gonna stop hating? LOOK AROUND OPEN YOUR EYES WIDE WIDE ~ SUPER WIDE , every one is crying now... cant u see those sadness in everyone's eyes , jus stop it alrite?


So.. here i am.. Hah , just had my hair cut..i'm experiencing the fewer hair withdrawal symptoms now.. darn it..

Ay ay, today went there aint crs coz 2 of the groups one mine... couldnt present.. so mrs yeo was kind enuff to let us off to do our projects. So went to catch a movie~ bewitched.. quite funy the ending kinda suck la, i tink its juz another lovely movie with pleny of love... kisses and NO SEX and magic here and there if u get my defination of a lovely movie~ ...

Went back school after that for WCD , ay found out that me and ern's project kinda need some total redoing.. Ay ay.. it sucked but we'll do until swee swee for him and her to see alrite ern? hur hur..

After school went for vball.. ay ay.. sprained my right ankle stupid.. dunno what i'm doing also no warmup properly.. den nvr saw wei sheng that ball.. den stepped on it and sprainned it.... swollen now.. ~ alot of alumni came today.. i c ct , ws, ch, chun hung and yao neng... but i feel so.. far away.. maybe its becoz i sprained my leg..

Sit coach car to watch the men's vball open juz now.. furthur concluded why i lost my passion for vball there.. ay ay.. dunno why ~And there is tis beach volleyball tournament i'm supposed to take part tis sat.. hai..

been not cycling much recently. hopefully i can get to cycle more .. rain rain plz go awaay.. i nid to go bt ...

Ay ay.. mr jc today had came up with 3 choices for himself. to accept the differences, to run from it and let it be or fight with it.. Mr jc had choosen to accept them,i guess it'll be interesting to see how he might fail to do so right? ay ay stay tune..

heres a lil pic of that mutt in his sleeping posture

Pieces

I tried to be perfect but nothing was worth it

I don't believe it makes me real

I thought it'd be easy

but no one believes me

I meant all the things I said

if you believe it's in my soul

I'd say all the words that I know

just to see if it would show

that I'm trying to let you know

that I'm better off on my own

this place is so empty

my thoughts are so tempting

I don't know how it got so bad

sometimes it's so crazy

that nothing can save me

but it's the only thing that I have

if you believe it's in my soul

I'd say all the words that I know

just to see if it would show

that I'm trying to let you know

that I'm better off on my own

I tried to be perfect

it just wasn't worth it

nothing could ever be so wrong

it's hard to believe me

it never gets easy

I guess I knew that all along

if you believe it's in my soul

I'd say all the words that I know

just to see if it would show that

I'm trying to let you know that

I'm better off on my own

I thought it'ld be easy....but i messed up all the tings i've said...better off on my own

Tennis any one? hur hur i got a racket any plenty of balls from mr sng.. ay ay... now wat i nid next is peeps who want to play tennis and have a tennis racket.. hehe

I'm having this uncanny big appetite recently.. juz today i ate 3 plates of kebab pilaf , 2 cups i tink around 1 litre of chin chow.. a sand wich. in a span of like.. 5 hours... hur hur.. and i'm still eating now.. my dinner.. ~ dang i can get so broke juz by eating..

Acc test today... ay ay , stupid i cant balance my balance sheet.. hur hur coz of the net loss from the p and l sheet.. ay ay. so i decided to change the net loss.. hur hur , abit cheating... but ay ay.. dunno la.. i hate acc~ tink i nid to learn from Zhi si fu.. lol.. I know u got quite good for tis topic for ur o's. wakka

Hmm.. fom reports due soon.. i keep feeling we've got not enuff for the report.. dang..

Hmm,tink thats about all , hur hur i hope i can stop eating so much... ~ its scaring me...

lost, some one tell me its gonna be ok...

Reach home yesterday morning at 830 am. Was nite cycling with the sp peeps the previous nite. We set off 9 .. a round island ride.. got scolded by justin again for riding too fast.. not the first time i've been tick off for riding too fast , but its always liddat la, the person infront of me shoot off , i drafted him , the person drops out.. and i juz continued my pace and yea i get fucked~ Wat ever .This new guy also year 1 kinda pisses me off.. the way he toks..Juz becoz he get his ass infront of the peloton he fuck his ass off in front the rest of us.. Fukking guy ... i belive even cheng long could easily dropped him ler lo.. and when ever he made a challenge he cowardly cooed off wen ever he is about to be dropped out ,ass hole.He even freaking cursed at me wen i over tooked him at lck air way ...a bunch of those west nite riders decided to attack the whole peloton during that particular part of the journey.. that new guy was friends with the west nite riders and he also join in the attack ...yi mian gave me the green light to attack them as well , its a good ting he is an understanding guy.. at least he wont give a fuck much about me attacking others who pissed him off..me, and bryan.. a very good cyclist .. hes a roadie but he was last year's IVP subaru champion for mtb . Hes fast and wise on the attacks and he Dont COCK around like some Fucker~ and he respects others ... i was on my attack on two of the west side riders.. after dropping two i decided to follow up with bryan's pace.. and we caught up with the peloton's lorry.. i was wit bryan with another 7 other attackers . 1 of them was tht ass and the other 6 were from the west nite riders . I saw two roadies from the attackers and the rest were a mixture of hybrids and mtbs.My cadence was quite high on 3-9 as i spinned very rapidly as we drafted the lorry 3 of them including the ass dropped out leaving us with 4 other attackers including the 2 roadie.. eventually the two other hybrids also dropped out , as the lorry accelerated... its left with me behind bryan's ass with the other roadies, one of them dropped out and the other guy was trying to bumped me off when he shifted around... but bryan was going strong and he shifted and bumped him off.. and so it was a show down with me and bryan at the last stretch.. but , the lorry accelerated and i was dropped out while bryan managed to shift down a gear and went with the acceleration.. i tried to attack again but we reached the pit stop already by then ... but ay ay, he is fast and he can endure alot i was almost spent already after taht part. BUt taht didnt stopped me from dropping that ass hole time and time again ..i only wanted to draft him but he juz nids to be so cocky ar wat ever. .. but felt kinda bad after dropping the entire peloton also...Fuck this contradictions

I dont know why , but i'm getting damned pissed by every ting.. I'm feeling very down now.. after evaluating so many tings i found out that so much is pissing me off.. I seriously hate hyprocrites ... if ur being a hyprocrite for a joke and all its orite.. but being a hyprocrite other then that juz pisses me off totally .. and for wat sake must we hate.. I hate myself for hating that xtr guy.. why hate.. i'm sick and tired of hating ..i hate to hate.. wat an irony.. wat the hell am i tokking about.. fuck~

Orange

Ay ay... so ... i went to school today wearing my orange jersey.. and found out every one was wearing the orange jersey too.. ay ay.. so we decided to line up and take a picture of us...



and we tink its nice so we took another one with our faces



but things got a little over board and the orange bastards decides to hump on me..



and the just cant get enuff of it...



Oh well.. god bless me... Hur hur..

Happy birthday singapore

Ay ay,wat a national day...

Cycled to esplanade hoping to see fire works juz now.. I saw alot of armoured vehicles on the way there and they were lagi best la.. hur hur feel that they are like so armoured... heres sum pics of them...





>ay ay ,but i reached there too early .. ay ay,thus i sat around at boat quay after deciding to give up on the fire works.. also like meaningless liddat to watch the fire works alone... it'll make me look more introvert..BUT~! i felt so hero today... Ok tis is wat happened.. very drama.. for those who dont like drama.. dont read.. hiack

I was cycling cycling along dunrean road wen i saw this gal fell down sehz... On a bike too~! A female cyclist~!!! mm... i was tinking whether to go help or not... i cycled passed her.. for quite sometime until i decided to u turn and help her.. ay ay.. my mind is ever processing so slowly..apparently..... her chain jumped wen she was shifting her gears which coz a sudden jerk which might have shock her making her press the front brake leading to an endo.. very cool .. any way, i sat around asking how can i help.. after i fixed the bike.. mm.. she says shes alrite but she nids water..ay ay....I gave her my hydrapak... and she didnt know how to use it.. so lame.. so i got to demonstrate and all... bla bla bla.. thats how i emptied my hydrapak and drank like a dawg wen i got to town area but well.. after her dad came to pick her up i continued my journey... ay ay.. but i felt like a hero as i rided..hur hur

The next time the CD teach tell me to say what good deeds i done before again i'm gonna say that , hur hur the story about the granny is too old ler.. nid to change one.. ay ay..

hmm, I really hope that after all tis effort u would change ur perspective and mindset now.. i cant make u change ... u are the only one who will make the change in u .. dont compromised to wat we asked for coz wat we wanted is only for u to be more accepeted and be a better person... i really wish that u know we all cared and is concern about u.. but we shudnt be cruel nonetheless to hide ur mistake any more.. coz we feel that by showing to u ur mistakes is the only way for u to change.. and correct urself. no one is perfect but we can all become better..

summer fourty one..

Ay ay, went out with the peeps today...to bugis for steam boat.. was supposed to celebrate lin's birthday one.. but she was ill so ironically she wasnt there on her birthday celebration.. haha k la, felt kinda bad wen there is so little peeps present and there is no cake .. hur hur..

AY ay. the steam boat, was quite exp hur hur but its was nice la.. juz that i found out i cant take the spicy soup .. argh~!~!~! I cant take spicy food any more ~~~ ARGH~!~!~!~!~! dangg, muz be the ang mo kio influence..

After eating went to parco and bought Jf's birthday present.. ay ay, had a hard time looking for one sial, ay ay he is so rich he like.. dont have tis kinda materialistic nid also.. hur hur, k la yi si yi si can ler.

ay ay, den walked around the place abit here and there den went home with km.. ay ay, abit sian la.. but ok la, at least its more productive today den yesterday... been very un effective tis few days wen i fall ill, ay ay.. k la.. tink its a good time to take a break also.. from wat i dunno.. ay ay.....

To whom I seek that light my path and tell me its ok when everything seems so not...

Ay ay, still sick.. sian.. dunno tml can still cycle or not... Damned.

Thought of wat seemed to be so true might not be after all,choices are of a plenty among the perceptions to choose, neither of them wrong.. Neither or them are right, who will be right when they are constantly fighting for wat they perceived for is right..? When will the senseless squabbles stop..? when can the place be filled with love but not enimity? when can the light shine through tis intimidating darkness..? Why couldn't the place be exhumed of hate.. ?

Is tis constant war fare leading to anyting other then hurt and sadness on every ones face..? Is that sense of well being really gonna be happy when its derived from others pain ? Why must we keep looking at the differences when we have so many in common and can we look out for wat we have in common?Do we still have to fight due to our differences when we have share so much in common? Will these engraved hate be shed away and let everyting start anew with every one in harmony? Why must one be toxicated by the thought of others, why must we share hate and not love? Is there even an answer for all these question?

tink I'll find out if I tink more...

Cookie syndrome
tink i had too much cookies ... ay ay.. fell sick hur hur..

but one ting worth celebrating is the fact that we had made quite a nice sum of sales on that flea market day.. YAY~!~!~

Actually didnt have the strength to come to sch today de... aiya.. tinking of how tedious it is to get a leave of absence.. tink i juz dragged myself to sch.. it was not bad la.. with us ponning wcd..

Watched some korean show juz now.. ay ay.. not bad sehz.. but i tink i still dunno the title of the show..~ nvm.. it was a good show, reminds me of the divergence

Ay..still having a head ache.. tink i blog till here liao~

I dun wan to fall asleep...

woke up quite late today.. miss berlukar session tis morning.. dang.. abit guilty now.. Tonned at ern's house yesterday nite for bbqing session.. lets see.. thats the 2nd class outing already huh... YAY~ hur hur..

Got all tis stuck up stuffs coming back again.. exams.. projects.. flea market.. dang... camps also..

Speaking of camps.. i already went for two camps tis week. It doesnt seemed like a sem break to me at all.. theres no break for me.. The cadc camp kinda sucked for me bahz. maybe coz i long time no go to their place ler den felt disconnected from them. marg was also saying the same ting.. ay ay, lucky marg acc me during the camp.. or i'll be bored to death, but i went off earlier one day any way.. hur hur.

Dang,i'm really afraid i cant get to sell all my cookies on flea market day...hur hur.ay ay...

It jus died..liddat.. so peacefully, leaving me behind..lonely..

K la... the lamest ting has happened in my life over and over again.. first my hp got rolled over by a taxi.. now its really outta commission wen i accidentally dropped it into the soup.. Hur hur.. Gr8, that fone has sentimental values for me lor, and it died.. such an..horrible death~ hur hur ..

oh well,that means i get a new fone any way.. tml maybe

Hur hur.. lame ~

Gone... its all gone.. everyting is gone... i'm gone.

Yesterday saw luan off at the air port.... kinda sad .. After seeing him off i practically walk aimlessly in the airport alone and went to bugis to get a mouse too.. Lone

School was sleepy for me today, very lethargic.. ay ay.. the css ting.. very scary.. hur hur.. went to the club meeting for the first time juz now.. mm.. dunno why i see rapheal face i keep feeling like sleeping..his face.. got that sleepy face


after meeting went to queensway.. heng ql acc me.. or else i'll rot to death.. hur hur.. finaly got the jersey liao.. orange.. tink jp will love it.. haha

k la.. end here.. heres a pic of me and luan at the air port

Even the best fall downs sometime

2 departures in a row... I'm really, sad now...

Mr luan has been a very very good teacher... he has tot me well, not only on academical basis, but also on alot of moral values.. He has my respect and he has my trust.. He's like been there for me wen i'm down ... and hes so understanding and caring to us.. still remember the times wen we juz simply drink our nights off at the kopitiam downstairs.. sharing the booze like nobodies business.. He tolerates our rowdy behaviour in class ... He is so understanding to such an extent that he doesnt wanna tell us wen he is departing ... coz he dun wan us to waste time to send him off.. haiz.. Luckily ws gotto know from miss yeo..

DAmn ,I regretted seriously now not to have spent more time with him and the peeps..haiz... very sad.IT always comes to an end.. why muz time bring tings to ends... why cant the forever word be true...imbecil i'm one.. haiz..

Wcd lessons..

Having wcd lessons now...Ay ay, next week holiday ler.. well, i guess its more of a study week den a holiday lor.. hur hur .. ay ay now i guess with the projects sorta at bay i'm more relaxed ler .. yay.Bought myself back to reality abit , tok to ws about stuffs about ct , the change in me.. and every one...I seriously noe that i am not spending time with the peeps la.. but i juz hope that i can be understood ... coz i'm really stuck up with lotsa project.. well, i dunno i guess i'll be piss off too if i were u guys.. Tok about relying on each other.. i guess we've rely on jp alil too much at times.. so much so that we want her back so she could organize stuffs for us.. well, i dunno thats what ws said and i kinda agreed , but i tink we are all prone to changes also yea..so i guess alot of tings are not different now.. now i've understood that, but i seriously stick to wat pz said... we accept friends for who they are and who they change to..and i furthur add.. and if we cant.. its better not to be friends..but i'm still able to accept every one though... Maybe i shud take on the role on organizign an event for us.. but i guess no one would come coz i've like not attended the events u guys organized.. I guess its a trend .. but i'll try...hur hur

Kinda sleepy today... hadnt had much sleep lately.. er erd.. Tink i find one day and really sleep hur hur , its tiring sleeping halve way sehz...

The most important thing in your life to find wat u want in life...

AY ay... now at ernest's house doing wcd project. ay ay... gonna burn the mid night oil liao

Went out to watch initial Juz now... ay ay... find the story with bits and pieces of similarities of me.. wakkakakaka.. not i bhb or wat la.. but i'm oso luv racing.. and i also have a father who does midnight deliveries.. and i'ld also help him do deliveries la.. but he does not deliver tofu he delivers fish balls instead... and he not so qiang.. he uses the lorry to deliver... and i also not so qiang i race on a bike..

BUt my life.. since i'm on my bike has been about drafting and drifting also..... ay ay.... THe Ds.. wakkkakak

Dunno, but i not so Kiang yet.. haven chose to become a full racer like wat he do.. wkakakak maybe in the future bahz.. ahha

ok la.. go do project ler.. JIa you to myself~