Theres a reason why happy endings are fictionous

This will be a post of myself and my day . Don't bother reading if you are looking for smth else.

Had a bad day today. A very bad fall. Alicia left us already , a big dismay . The fact that now we don't have an officer which understands the plight of the cyclists worries me. The letter box was opened today. Too much information was stored in there for too long. I felt the immense regret and dissappointment when i saw those demerit points. I kinda felt betrayed. I was pissed with myself .

The dispute over the club rooms had really pulled me down alot. The debate with the rock climbers had gotten quite hostile over the weeks . Every time i thought it was getting some where , its back to square one again. Today,i had yet another set back now that another officer had told the daiko drums to put the drums into the new room. I don't have any idea whats that all about ,and its bobbing me alot .Now that alicia is gone , i've one less option to rely on. The game is getting very tough to play , seemingly handicapped , and i feel the heavy pressure building up .

I fear the worst to have the club being closed down,at the hands of mine. I try my best not to let the club members down and every time i did , i hated that feeling. I haven't been a very good leader to start with perhaps. There is just so much going through that little or none would understand.

10 messages for 10 different characters on a saturday morning.

1) Shut up because I don't want to hear you speak. You're a dick head and its the likes of you that makes life suck. You have no sense of humour so stop, its not funny. Maybe you don't have common sense at all to startwith. Just your presence alone makes my day go bad, why can't you just bury your face some where or just burst in to atoms or something like that?

2) And YOU! Don't think i'll forget you.You just have to kick some one who is down on the floor right? What , are you some mental deprive or something? Stop thinking , its you! Its not like there are many people out there who would do what you did.Utterly shameless . Wait. You never consider what others perspective for you is right. Whats shame to you.Arrogant self centered bastard.

3) The world doesn't revolve around you now so wake up. Whats your problem pushing every one around and giving your own responsibilities to others who didn't deserve them. You wanna live a life , every one else wants to . Please do what you're supposed to do . Have profession in being somebody who holds responsibilities ,not a jerk.

4) I knew what you did . I saw those words you've said and you didnt know how much hate i had build up . Now i'm telling you ,mofo, u're one of the worst. If you're name were to be a verb or a noun or an adjective in a dictionary, you'll be describe with so much negative adjectives , verbs that it'ld fill up a page on the dictionary.Yes , the fonts u get from and mini oxford out there.

5)Look , our existence is nearing 1/5 a century on earth , but how come you make me feel like you have a mentality of a pre school? I ask you another question, are you a retard? I ask you another question again, are you mentally challenged? I ask you yet another question again , do you understand the words above? They are refering to you.

6)I'm really glad that you existed . I'm really glad that you met me . Or i met you.. Ay, one way or another. I'm glad. If i could ever ask for more is for me to spend more time with you. I could never get enough of it . All this time , i just wanted to tell you these..i think=D

7)You're always there for me . Showing support , cushioning my fall. Every time i felt cold and shunned i felt u're warmth embrace me.If i could,I wished that i could always be there for you. I regret not having the selfnessless attitude you had. Sorry

8)We would talk all night through if we could. I know that.This un limited words that just kept flowing out like infinity just seems so magical. Its people like you that spicen up my life , paint the grey skies blue for me. Thanks eh.

9)Jeeze , its been so long. Where the hell are you ?Its been great having you around back then , but when? zomg , its been so long since we last talk. I hope u're doing fine eh, tsk , i miss you. Don't worry , i'm sugar free. XD

10) Hey. I love you. YES , you. Not just some other pretty faces around. More then what meets the eye. Its you. Yes, i love you. Say you do too please.

Epidemic

I really shouldn't be posting now.. It makes me feel too guilty.Oh well.

So , the sem tests are next week. Damn , time passed so fast , i can't catch up. Maybe i don't need to after all.

Been studying and playing lotsa vball lately. I had this sudden urge to pick up an alternative language , spanish or french would be nice. However , the asian fever still remains and i think jap would be good too, no korean. =D Ay, i think it'ld be qutie some time for that to become a reality. Theres so much stuffs to do.

Some one called me today and asked me to go over to India to volunteer to help the needies there. I was like, Zomg, of all place India. Imagine. Me and that place. I think those who know me well should know the consequences. Nevertheless, i agreed . I thought it'ld be a good experience and its a good time for me to atone for sins i might be committing. Any one wanna join ? I can ask for extra slots.

I was talking to Jp about passion and stuffs.. We lose passion over certain things over time and all. Some times we quit. How ever , there are things that we can't quit . We can't just say no because we don't have the passion to do so. Like our job , or academic wise , our studies. Some times , our passion got to do with the purpose of what we do. Like i cycle because i enjoy cycling . Purpose of cycling is to enjoy cycling.I can't possibly fufil the purpose of enjoying to cycle if i've lost my passion to cycle.

I turned down the offer from saca to join the team's training.There are just too many reasons i can't and won't go. Mainly the lack in passion. I guess. Then there is the excrutiating pain as well. I can't train well under these circumstances.Its kinda sad.Again.


Help us!

Thats was categorised under the word POINTLESS

So recently saw a growth spurt of hopeful star wannabes on national TV . From the dance floor , to the idols series and super stars and so on. I lay my hands down and praise the courage these people have packed in themselves when they went for these competitions which is portrayed to like millions of people. Point made , if you're good they can see, but if you're bad you're going to have halve a world making a joke out of you. Now that's true courage for you.

I love these reality competitive shows. Its so packed of drama , emotions , reality and woo ts. COMEDY.I love the beginnings for these shows. The beginning of these shows are like the best part of it. It gets boring towards the end. -__- Ironically enough.

Its where the parodies , accidents , comedians by nature , emotions all come out . I love it. Especially when the judges of the competition had their face like this..-_-Or we have Simon Cowell on the show, I love logical sarcasm




I wish they can just air the beginnings of the shows . Just that would do. =D

Thrown of the tracks

Projects are all dued today, and it was all cleared nicely. Much thanks to my team mates i guess.. I'm supposed to feel relieved, but i'm not getting any better.I guess nobody understands what i'm going through cause i didn't told any one. No, not that i don't want to, i didn't know who , or what , or how or when or where to have some to talk to . Don't try, I can't talk if i just couldn't.

Some times i don't know what i'm going through too, cause i will just start looking at the bigger picture and get all these dissappointments coming back at me. No , I'm not ok. I got plenty of words to say , i've got a million words which relates to sadness running in my head.

I don't mean to hurt any one when i'm like that. I tend to. Well, i'm just a fucked up personality to start with rite?

$1.10 movie ticket

Thank god its Friday night and I don't know how i did it, but i survive yet another week in sp..

So i stayed in school for some good rotting session after which i joined the guys and we went to bugis aiming to get clothes for itp. We couldn't get any thing much but i got myself a pair of pants for 25 bucks. Its a rip off. =D

Guys night out is fun ..

The rain was unrelenting though , it went on for the whole day. I'm not exactly annoyed with that , in fact i actually preferred the cool weather,but its annoying to walk around with wet shoes .

I boarded the bus home , and it was damn packed and i didn't topped up my ez-link card. I only had $1.10 of coins with me then , i prayed for the bus conductor to be kind and let me board, thank god he did.I played the zen with my newly created play list . All the hits i love~

The passengers eventually filled up the bus and i was standing at the front door, so packed that i couldn't even raise my arm to retrieve my bus ticket. Then the bus stop and the entrance open , grumpy old man wanted to board the bus but it was filled to the steps of the entrance already. He then pushed and shoved his way through , almost toppling midget guy in front of him. Then grumpy old man went on rapping in hokkien that he needs to push , or else he won't be able to get on board(deciphered with my Superb hokkien) .

Midget guy couldn't stand him and shouted back in another series of hokkien words translated..." WTF , want to fight is it? Why keep pushing.. want to fight come on la. " I was quite shock that he actually said that to grumpy old man. Though any normal person will be pissed, i think they just will get off with the fact that he is a grumpy old man who is most probably senile already. The grumpy old man didn't gave in and went on ranting in hokkien explaining why he push and shove and he doesn't want to fight.Midget guy of course got angrier and was already in some sort of weird fighting pose.

This is where i get in the picture. I was caught in between them both, quite closely, as the bus is extremely packed. Breaking Benjamin's songs always get me into mode where i seemed to live on hate. Diary of Jane was playing when the both of them are arguing, i couldn't take it any more I put my arm on the pole in between them and stared at midget guy.

He seemed appaled and turn to me with anguished eyes."What the fuck u want? You want to fight is it? He push me first!" midget guy retorted. Grumpy old man was ushered by a kind lady who offered her seat to him . I continued my gaze, as cold as i could make it , at midget guy. Some other passengers made a small path with the little space they had and told midget guy to move inside . The midget guy continued his "I dare you to beat me " stare for moments and turned to the old man and shouted " you better be careful..." in hokkien and walked to the rear of the bus with one last stare at me.

I could still hear grumpy old man grumbling in hokkien to the guy seated beside him and that guy was annoyed as well and put on his ear piece. Pff, he is one hell of a jack ass grumpy old man alright.Yui was singing her song to me when i slip back my ear piece, ever so sweet.Well, so much for my $1.10 worth of movie ticket.

Forget a thousand moments, brace a million changes..

I chance by a child hood friend i've forgotten way back . He lives just opposite my flat when i was still living in the small three room flat with mum and dad. Memories of my days there were vividly etched at the back of my brain. We moved thrice , least, i've moved thrice .

We chatted and caught up on the bus . We didn't contact each other like we promised we would after i moved. Hah, promises back then to a kid , wasn't something meant to be broken. How ever , a kid being a kid, tends to get over stuffs fast enough not to be bound by them.

I found out he still lives at the same block but at a different flat. Theres been plenty of changes , some which made me think alot. His mum was sent to IMH, yes institute of mental health . I remember she use to scream like a mad woman at him for being mischievous and all, i didn't really wanted her to be really insane. His dad stayed strong and provided for his studies and all. Flabbergasted i was taken more aback by more things that happened.

We used to hang out at another neighbour's house as they have a Sega game console. We'd played all day there. It was a big family in that home and its never livelier. I remember the ah mm which cooks nice desserts for us when ever we are at their place. Then there is her husband , a sombre and quiet man , who seemed to share the same existence of an empty space. I swear I've seen him smile ever this once when we were at their place. The last time i saw them he was bed ridden as he had stroke. My friend told me that he had passed away about 2 years ago , and his wife followed shortly.They were remembered as a very loving and kind couple.

Then there is this two girls , sisters, who live next to my place. Ay , its quite funny things we did back then. Sega games were sometimes forbidden ,when we didn't did our home work or did something gravely wrong , like breaking a TV . (That's another story. ) We play family games, kinda corny but our version was quite awesome . We combined a mixture of cartoon heroes and role played a cartoon hero family game. Thus you can cater to boys and girls alike. We always argue though , on who gets to be the Mum and Dad. Those were the good times. Their lives turned way ward. The elder sister had a child at the age of 18 and the younger sis ran away from home. Their younger brother is still schooling and doing fine though.

It seemed too much for me to take when he relate what happened when i was gone for the 10 years. Things that were once cherished are taken away and never given back. Times that were share never came back.I've forgotten the names of every one of them , I've forgotten more things then i could remember. And what, i'm only 18.. theres so much i've forgotten , whats gives when i get older.

Get him a lady, not a whore.

So i've been away from home the past couple of days. Ay, i wished i could do that more often.

Was fishing again with ern , soon , bahamut and for awhile shawn.The night was good at broke back village , though the rain did gave us abit of the problem earlier in to the night but it all went well.


They braved the full blast of god's pee

Fishing is fun, whether there is fish or no fishes. Its the company , and the serene ambience which is a scarce commodity now adays, that makes fishing good. We did managed to caught some 20 + fishes though , which cat fishes form the majority .The cat fishes are threw back and the rest retained for the bbq the next day.


Fresh sea food always taste good .

Had chalet with the people from 13 ... Ay , weird eh , what the hell am i doing at their chalet. So out of place. Oh well,guess there aren't any chalets that won't make me feel out of place around.

Ay, to the person involve (You know who you are) , congratulations for getting what you wanted . We're happy for you. =D Make it last please.

You... E

Yesterday night was drinking night again. I went to sleep reeking alcohol and i had a dreamt.

This girl in the pic was singing .



I didn't want to wake up from that dream. But i eventually did.. and i woke up with a bad hang over and something else.

My new year resolution (2007)

I aim to ...;

1. Have better grades this year
2. Have an eligible person to take over the club
3. Give people back what i'm given from them
4. Have a secured 3k in the bank
5. Sell cookies once more
6. Perform at band edge
7. Go hokkaido
8. Revisit Redang

This year.