Changes

I noticed how my life changed yet dramatically these couple of days. Hammering down on me , twisting me inbetween reality and self obsessed thoughts , pff even a fluid concept would need some time to adapt. One of the major changes would be the fact that i'm not working at bukit merah any more, now i'm at shenton way .

Other then the fact that i have to travel longer on the SUBWAY~ i have to squeeze even more with commuters . Yes , i take the mrt at tanjong pagar where it is the most congested mrt station during peak hours in singapore.Well, taking the train at that moment show the true colors of singaporean commuters as they fight and shoved just for that 1x1ft of space to stand in the mrt. Packed sardines seemed to have much more space then that.

Now i'm working at the clients office , it meant that i wont' have time to go on msn nor watch videos any more. The boss mentioned something before leaving me on my own, Jc .. this is serious work, no more fooling around and do me proud. I can't help but ponder whether its some sort of testament given from him to test what i've learnt through out the six weeks at bukit merah.

Its really taxing though .. On the eyes , the brain , and the discipline. At crucial parts of the work , you can't afford to make any mistakes, and you don't know what you are doing until you try , and if u fail , thats it, one whole day of work might go down the drain .. Its like taking a shot in the dark. I think that doing Ots will become a norm for the next 2 weeks .No paid OTs would be the killer .

There were quite a few disputes over my attitude at the work place this morning. Hmm, i guess i should learn to resign my fate more often. Tsk , i couldn't help but smirk though , at the fact that some one got scolded.

Ay, too tired to give a quality post ..Will do one soon! Any what, thanks to the concerned people for showing care and alll. =D

My life , my sorrows, my happiness,my attitude, my love,myself.

"we'ld be better off as friends..."

Oddly familiar .. with that hint of dejavu when i saw that message. Its a different kinda pain though. I been running at the speed of sound , crashed and burnt . Theres much for me to learn and do . Unrelenting i am , i shall pick up the pieces slowly... don't think I'll wanna leave any behind. I sinned and cursed for being not a better man through all the stupid assumptions. I'll keep my mouth shut as i reside in this stench filled melancholy i can't resolve.

Things i can't remember

So i met up with some of pri school class mates just yesterday for a short while. I can't remember any of them.. seriously. I think i got hit by the vball too much on the head or crash on the bike too much that i seemed to lost part of my memory. Jeeze, so many names were mentioned during the meet , so many events and all.. I don't remember. I couldn't help but slipped into sub concious mode and think about what happened before. Of course it only made me more sleepy , plus the fact that i haven't had enough sleep.

Man i feel bad.. Its like i'm being ungrateful and i dont' cherish stuffs back then. I would if there is stuffs for me cherish and all..hmm.. I don't know . The peeps can remember all the stuffs and woots , i couldn't. Makes me think if 8 years later will i forget people around me now.. like the peeps from 2e1 .... the guys .. jeeze, wtf happens to me then.

Fuck .

I think I had quite a nice dinner on friday for once since allah knows when. Ay, it'ld beat dining in some other fucked up restaurants who can't differentiate between medium and medium well done steak.


Delicious till the last strand, thanks hun.

77760000 seconds of entanglement and i'm still stuck.

I don't really like my new time table for the new sem, tsk , and the fact that i'm in 3B15 meant that i'm in the third year of my life in poly . Tsk , wth , why time so fast. I haven't had enough making fun of lecturers, ponning dumb lectures, crapping with the guys , celebrating birthdays in side the lecture halls , taking poser pictures , making fun of twits girls and wth so much more. I CAN"T GET ENOUGH OF it. Damn , why did einstein invent some big fire cracker and not a time machine.

Ay, works interesting today though i'm not really in the mood to narrate about it. Ay, i'm tired of being the narrator for my life. I'm damn tired though, as in i'm closing my eyes slowly as i type this.Need sleep. seriously.

Patrick used that lousy old cam and took this picture below. Obviously i'm wowed by the capabilities of the cam...



Patrick's ,erm, hose.. caught on cam.

Ay, one month and more to come~!

Intro:
G Dsus4/F# Em7 Cadd9

Verse 1:
G Dsus4/F#
You're not alone
Em7
Together we stand
Cadd9
I'll be by your side
G
You know I'll take your hand

Dsus4/F#
When it gets cold
Em7
And it feels like the end
Cadd9
There's no place to go
Em7
You know I won't give in
Cadd9 Em7 Cadd9
No, I won't give in


Chorus:
G Dsus4/F# Em7
Keep holding on
Cadd9
Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
G Dsus4/F# Em7
Just stay strong
Cadd9
Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
G
There's nothing you can say
Dsus4/F#
Nothing you can do
Em7
There's no other way
Cadd9
When it comes to the truth
G Dsus4/F# Em7
So, keep holding on
Cadd9
Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Verse 2(same chords 4 beats)
So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear
Before the door's closed
And it comes to an end
With you by my side
I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend, yeah-e-yeah

Chorus again

Bridge:
Am C
Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Am Em
Nothing's gonna change, nothings gonna change destiny
Am C
What ever is meant to be will work out perfectly
C
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

play intro chords with lalala hum

chorus to the end

Hang over mornings encore

Now little boys and girls, don't learn how to drink alcohol, booze is bad, it spoils your brain and rupture ur insides and worst of all, it causes hang overs the next morning if u happen to drink too much. You won't want that to happened, you'll be all nausea, woozy , lifeless , seeing stars or even start crapping from your ass and your mouth.

How ever if you happened to drink too much and have your hang over shet , heres a remedy. Drink plenty of water(in any case u'll be thirsty too), i don't wanna go all biological but just take it that water will wash away the alcohol toxins you take in. =) Its tried and proven .

In any case you should avoid drinking stuffs containing dairy products, or even other depressant drugs such as caffeine. Like coffee. Coffee is potent. You drink coffee when you're having a bad hang over ,pff you'ld explode like a volcano. Also try avoiding people who will most likely piss you off (i.e Your colleague whom you have a strong grudge for no particular reason) . Else the consequences can turn out quite ugly.

Thats about it, so now children.. Be good stay away from alcohol.. have orange juice or something .

~
thats it , i'm not going to drink any more!

"Jc.. please stop dreaming and face the bloody reality"

The other day i was talking to my beloved patrick and ay, i was lost for words and full of thoughts after the conversation.

We chat about how i gave up on racing and i told him that i want to give it another shot again and this time get into the national team .Why i felt so would be due to the fact that its what I've been aspiring to do ever since i started racing. I'm gave the opportunity once and i just let it pass . Now i yearn to excel in something i'm good at again.

Then he asked me, asked me a series of questions.What comes after i get into the national team? What can cycling so much do for me in the future? Will I be still cycling like that when i'm all wrinkled in my 70s ?What do i do with the medals ? How much is glory going to be worth?

I snapped.

I was taken aback and i started to think, about those questions. Its true that i can't do anything if i were to cycle this much . It won't get be any where other then great distances. I could get sponsors , medals, fame , glory but what would that all sum up to? Perhaps just another couple of more bikes to be added to the shed and maybe some health products.

I think its one of my bad habits to have this thirst to fufil other hungers then mandatory ones . Then i thought that by cycling it will fuel by deprived thirst for glory and fame and passion. Its with such childish thoughts that saw me through all these years , wasting my life mentally and physically.

I'm 19 now , 1 year more and i'll end my life as a teenager and enter adulthood.I saw how reality chase me like a salvaged beast. Its not glory and fame that feeds me , its a fucking piece of paper that writes DIPLOMA or DEGREE that would get me a piece of meat on the dinner table. People will start killing each other just to get a god damn pay rise, they'll sell out on their kins just to fufil their sales target , they'll start dumping their parents into the old folks home to make room for their own family, WE'LD HAVE NO GOD DAMN ROOMS FOR DREAMS .

Alas , I quiver at how harsh things are going to get. I snigger at people who can't adapt , i smug about what a fluid concept I am.I'ld only scream my lungs out for my hand to be held tight and never let go.

How ever , i do enjoy looking at how pissed my colleague is when i told her that she ain't the princess she claim she is and HE IS NO FUCKING KNIGHT THAT can protect her. Thats Snapping back into reality for you =)


whats false pretence when you can grow into it?

Bloggers discriminations

Working in Aspec has been a congenial experience for me. My bosses are munificently gracious with our atrocious behaviour during work even buying us tea breaks on a regular basis. We're even given ample work load that suffice us just enough to complete in time for some " quality relaxation" breaks .

Its with these breaks that allow me to able to appreciate web blogs and forums and such. I'll spent hours scourging information or scrutinizing on every little detail of a post by a good blogger. Its perchance that I developed more fancy on reading and writing web communes on the Internet.

Thus this explained the annoyance i felt while listening to the Muttons on 987 FM this morning. I've been getting my fix every morning by listening to the Muttons and their cranky jokes which never fails to perk up a lousy morning. They were frolic as the typical muttons every morning today and there was this topic about why people blog and why people not blog. Its a part of the show where by opinions are sought from the public on a specific topic given. One riposte from the common metropolitan for the topic is this . " I think bloggers are introverts as they'll rather communicate on the webs then communicate with people face to face."

Now I'm not being narrow-minded; or so if you can find any other words to describe my behaviour, but i thought that opinion was a bit far off from being fair? It was based on a generic , crude and perhaps even non-intellectual perception. I do see the light of the point made , but I'd conclude that it was meant to be a joke and it was quite a lousy one . Other wise I'm convulsed with the fact that there were such stereo types , totally repulsive.

Firstly , what has bloggers got to do with being introversive? Lets lay the definitions of an introvert first.

Introvert
noun(for this case )
1. (psychology) a person who tends to shrink from social contacts and to become preoccupied with their own thoughts [ant: extravert]

extracted from dictionary.com

Well, i believe those facts are of relevance without perplexity of my feelings in it .Then we compare it to a blogger. A blogger expresses his thoughts , lifestyles , opinions or anything that is on his mind on the blog and then it is opened for viewing to the public ,mostly friends. Now isn't that a form of socialization? I've seen bloggers making more friends by opening up their web logs to the public like kenny sia . In no way i see a blogger as a person who shrink from social contacts and to become preoccupied with their own thoughts.

Then i can't relate to how a person communicating on the web and not talking to some one face to face would be deemed an introvert. Its the 21st century , we've got touch screens , toilets cleaning your ass holes for you and stupid robots dancing making a big hoo hah. Right , point is, technology has made it possible for us to be more efficient and effective , communication via web is one of the most ingenious thIng I thought they've come out with , why does it seemed more introversive then meeting up with some one and talking to him face to face. Food for thought? I thought that person had troubles to acclimatize with the avant-garde society. Simply put , i think he is outdated.

I won't say that hey, bloggers cannot be introverts. No. Rather, I'm more like saying , bloggers are not classified under the term Introvert. Take a look around , i believe many of us are bloggers , what if its really like what that guy said, bloggers are introverts, wouldn't we be living in a nation of self obsessed freaks?

Part 2: Rider From Hell

i tottered down the carpeted stairs like i always do, holding the cup of mountain dew. he found the seat without much effort; the theatre was brightly lit still. it was rather a long wait for the movie. maybe im too kan cheong. XD he was already tasting the sweet sweet popcorns whilst i reveled in the booty-shaking reggae coming from the stereos.

the lights dimmed when more than half of the seats were occupied. movie trailers began screening. i looked around only to find sets of people who are either friends or couple. "so, which one do we fall under?" i questioned myself, randomly.

its, like, an hour or so after the show have started. a sudden vibrate in my pocket made me jump. i fished for my phone and saw this familiar twit-ish message. i was like, "what the heck?" our shoulders came in contact as he shifted himself close to me (to kpo). right, i handed him the cell without hesitance.

but strange. why would i do that? dont really have the habit of sharing personal stuff with just anyone, especially an acquaintance whom i havent seen for like 6 years and this is just our 2nd date out. heh? he even replied on my behalf. and what followed was crazy. XD

"eh, whens the last bus?" he asked as soon as we stepped out of soon tec. "i think we can still make it in time."

ay the day ended just like that? i stoned alil while waiting to cross the road. the next thing i know, he grabbed my wrist and we crossed over. Oo the firm grasp made me felt secured and safe. X3

"Slow...." he later added. zZzz and whats surprising was that i actually didnt kick his arse after that.

Some thing is starting ....

"Eh , how you know i like chocolates? Gosh, i didn't got anything for you... " She said as she looked at bewilderment at the pack of liquer chocolates .

The atmosphere got heavy for awhile and i could hear and feel my heart pumping against my chest , as if its about to jump out of my throat. With that , i'm lost for words and i couldn't say anything. Now , what is this feeling i'm getting now ? I asked myself. Seemingly familiar yet , theres a difference in it. Not exactly the same with what i had before. Its like a whole new familiar experience. Ah irony, if only it was strawberry ,we'ld have plenty of straw berry milk shake.

I looked around our surrounding , I see couples every where . Doing what they know best, couple stuffs.Pff, so this is the big deal about valentines day huh. I set my vision on her as she held the box of chocolate reading the information on it.Then i start wondering, how nice it'ld be.. to hold her hand... have her head lean upon my shoulders.. see her smile.. hug her and feel her heart beating against mine.. feel her lips press against mine.

"eh , movie starting~!"

I snapped out of dreamy land and looked at the time on my cell. Right , the shows starting, can't afford to miss it again.